I'm a pretty guy.  I'm not afraid to admit that.  My good looks come from having soft skin, soft, manageable hair, and soft features, like my lips.  I don't have the rugged, outdoorsman look to me, and can't pull it off if I tried.

I didn't think this was too bad, since girls like pretty things.  Sure, so do gay guys, but fuck it, you take the good with the bad.

Albert and I went to Outback to have some lunch on Sunday.  When we walk in I notice the hostess being a little extra nice.  I figure she thinks I'm hot and is adjusting her attitude to correlate with that.  She sits us down and later our waitress comes out.

She gets our drink orders and I notice something weird about her.  I don't know what it was, it was something like a distant stare and a smile that said she had something on her mind.  Who knows, just get me my food.

She'll stop by every so often to check up on us, making sure everything's ok, but always with that same strange aura that left me suspicious.

I order some dessert, my favorite actually, the Sydney Sundae something or other.  That shit is delicious.  Orgasmic, even.  I get to the point that even if I'm full, I'll keep scooping that stuff in at the risk of vomiting because it's so goddamn good. 

Our waitress comes out with the dessert and sets it down in front of me, then busts out two spoons..

"I brought an extra spoon since I didn't know if you two wanted to..share.."

There's the look again.

I look up at her with a cocked eyebrow then back at Albert as he looks back at her, then at me, then just starts shaking his head.

"Uh.."
*new look* "Oh!  I didn't..uh..mean it that way...I..it's because the dessert is so good..um.."

The waitress thought we were gay. 

I couldn't believe it.  Everyone in that restaurant must've thought Albert and I were fucking.  Am I that pretty?  Too hot to be straight?  They must've honestly thought that I was giving it to Albert on a consistent basis.  Not the other way around though...I'm obviously the Alpha.