This story is from a trip that was taken to Garner
State Park earlier this summer.
Most of the group (along their
respective "wives") got together for this camping trip and I
tagged along last minute after I coincidentally had just finished a
job the day before.
The day goes on OK and the night after the cook-out was quite a
disappointment. After the lack of sleep i put myself through in order
to go on this trip, I couldn't stay awake for an all night drink-fest.
Other than that some of the other guys were "disappearing" all of a
sudden as if there was a secret couples mating call I couldn't hear.
So we all give in to sleep and wait till the next day (and anger the
beer gods with the huge cooler that was FULL of beer.)
I wake up after a total of 20 minutes of what I guess I can call sleep
(since I was a last minute addition
to the trip, I did not have a chance to buy a tent, sleeping bag, air
bed, etc.) Other than that, the cook-out had started a reaction
in my stomach, which can only mean one thing: I had to take a shit (for
the life of me I still dont know why they decide to only cook brisket
and nothing else.)
I had to wait until someone with a vehicle woke up and hopefully they
were on the same page as I was on the whole "take a trip to the
restroom" thing. Luckily Jorge & Jesus were right on time with the
same idea. So we all rush to the closest restroom to relieve the
"stress."
Restroom #1: This was the
closes one, and the most packed one. People were waiting in line for
both the shower and the restroom stalls. None of us wanted to wait and
decided to look for another restroom which was a couple of minutes
away, but we knew wouldnt be packed.
Restroom #2: This was the
restroom that was by what I assume is where they have events and
dances (probably where the country
music was coming from the night before.) So we find the
restroom and I let Jorge and Jesus do thier deed first. Jorge takes
the handicapped, and Jesus takes the regular stall.
About 3 minutes into their fury, Jesus yells, "Damnit!" Seems someone
had decided to play a prank on the next person to use the stall he was
in. They placed a bunch of ketchup packets under the toilet seat so
that when the victim who used the stall afterwards would come in and
hopefully put all thier ass weight onto the seat, the packets would
blow, realeasing a nice stain to both the victims ass cheecks and
pants.
after laughing a bit about the situation, Jesus is able to finish and
get most of the ketchup off of him (I
guess.) Jorge finishes shortly after and now its my turn to get
to work. Right when I decide mentally, "Don't use the stall that Jesus
just used" as if on cue, come in the janitors. Seems it was time for
thier scheduled cleaning.
So I have 3 choices: 1. take Jesus' stall and cover
for him. 2. Go to the other stall and
unleash hell and let the janitors witness it. 3. Leave
I figured I didnt want to be there when the janitors saw what they
thought was a bloody shit.
Restroom 3: I had Jorge drive
me to the next restroom where I waited for a stall with one person
behind me. Handicapp stall empties and the guy in front of me goes in.
I am now waiting for the regular stall to empty so i can finally get
my chance to shine. after about 10 minutes the old man comes out of
the stall and I FINALLY get a stall. So i go about the duty and let
the first load out. Everything is going good, so now its time for the
courtesy flush (its either that or sit in my own stew.) So i reach
behind me for the toilet handle and flush. After not hearing the
normal flushing sounds, I jump up only to see the toilet was going the
opposite way. After realizing why it took so long for the guy before
me to get out of the stall, I haul ass out of the restroom and advise
Jorge to drive fast away from the restroom. Nex time i'll go with the
idea I had the whole night and take a shit in the woods and blame it
on the wildlife in the morning.
